Will Ferrell and Jon Heder may rule the new figure skating comedy Blades of Glory, but Saturday Night Live star Amy Poehler goes for the gold as Fairchild Van Walderberg, half of a villainous brother-and-sister skating duo opposite her real-life husband Will Arnett. Poehler gave us a weekend update on her queer appeal, her lady-crush and her hubbie’s top turn-ons.
HX: Ready to have a gay ol’ time?
Amy Poehler: Oh, I can’t wait! In the old and new sense.
You must know the gays love you, Amy.
Well, Saturday Night Live is run by the gay mafia or, as we like to call it, the gay yakuza. [Laughs] The gay people know their comedy and they’re fiercely selective. I appreciate it if they think I’m funny because that means I’m doing something right. I hope that maybe someday someone will dress up like me and perhaps put on a one-person show at The Duplex in New York.
Your husband Will also has quite the gay following.
Believe me, the highest compliment as a woman is to have your husband wolf-whistled at in the West Village. Oh, he’s adorable! I really scored. I dont know what-the-f I did right, but I did something right in my past life to get a handsome, funny hunk of meat and put a ring on that.
The general consensus is that most male figure skaters are gay. After filming Blades, what do you think?
Well, I’ll tell you who’s a manly man and that’s Mr. Scott Hamilton. He is a man’s man for reals, y’all. But I would say that there is a certain flamboyance in figure skating that perhaps lends itself to, um — yeah, you know what? Most of the guys are gay [Laughs].
Do you have any lady-crushes?
I know exactly who my lady-crush is right now: Shane from The L Word. Katherine Moennig. She’s my jam. I love The L Word. You know what Shane needs? She just needs someone to love her, to help her out, give her a sandwich and take her in. Let me tell you something about Shane: She finds it hard to love, but she loves hard. She just needs someone to take care of her, and I think I’m that someone. I really do. So freakin’ cute.
I loved you in Mean Girls — there totally needs to be a sequel!
I know. God, I was maybe six years older than Rachel McAdams when I played her mother, so I think at this point I’d probably e playing Dakota Fanning’s dead great-great-grandmother who comes back as a ghost.
Do you keep in touch with Lindsay Lohan?
I love Lindsay! I see her now and again. I had a really nice time working with her in Mean Girls and she’s been a delight when she’s hosted [SNL]. I really root for her.
Assuming you develop some sort of kinship to the characters that you play on SNL, was Britney’s drama especially hard on you?
I feel bad for Britney. I feel bad for all those girls. They work so hard and they need a break. My schadenfreude, as I get older, has gotten down to an all-time low, so I’m sending out good vibes her way. I can’t even imagine everybody taking pictures of you going to get your hair did. It must be so stressful.
Out of all the characters that you play on SNL, which one would Will most want to invite into the boudoir?
Hilary Clinton. He’s obviously not threatened by a powerful woman — look who he married — and he doesn’t mind a woman who speaks her mind. And I think he enjoys a good power suit. That works for him.
I was afraid you’d say Paula Abdul.
I don’t think Paula’s his type. She’s his size, maybe — he likes his shorties — but I’m going to go with H.C. If anything else, they could read the Sunday Times together. And isn’t that important?
Sidebar: SPRING FORWARD
Later this year, Poehler will appear in Spring Breakdown, a comedy co-starring Rachel Dratch and Parker Posey, in which three aging women travel to a popular vacation spot for college co-eds. “Between the three of us, the gay boys are very excited,” Poehler says. “It’s going to be huge.” Besides that queer draw, SNL‘s Seth Meyers plays Dratch’s clueless character’s “obviously gay” husband, and Arnett also makes a cameo playing a blind guy opposite Poehler: “I ask him out on a date and he feels my face and then rejects me,” she says.